The Perks of Older Brothers

Apparently today is March 14, so, happy Pi day! (I guess it should technically start at 1:59). In honor of this mathematical pastry, I will write 3.14 reasons why I love my brothers. Just kidding. I won’t.

Pi day

But if you didn’t already know, I have two older brothers. (You can read more about how “awesome” they are here).

I’ll be the first to admit: brothers are cool. They rule.

Literally.

If they are older than you, their rules are the only ones that matter–it’s best to note that their rules are subject to change depending on whatever bends to their benefit. (Just a heads up).

If you’re still young, you may not realize the perks of older brothers, but be patient–you will.

Sure, as kids they may beat you up and call you ugly. They may exclude you from games because you’re a “girl” even though you try to dress like them to fit in (while praying to God nobody notices that where they have a P you do not, which is obviously what makes you so, totally, uncool). They may take advantage of your adoration for them by bossing you around.

But that’s just brotherly love.

At some point I had to turn into an actual girl. There’s this thing called puberty and crazy stuff happens to your body–I don’t know if you know about it, but it’s awful. The whole time I was just like Dear God, make me a boy so I can fly far–far, far away. Just kidding. But I tried to defy puberty and pretend it wasn’t happening for as long as I could.

Eventually it was like It’s a girl!

Puberty

Sucked.

It was really weird though.

My brothers started being nice to me.

I wasn’t used to it at first since I’d handled a lot of bullying from them (oddly I was never bullied at school). They’d be like Oh, Lis, you look really nice today. Or Hey, I didn’t know you were funny. Or Let’s go see a movie. (Bullies, am I right? Just kidding. That’s them being kind).

But I would be so suspicious of this behavior that I kept trying to decode the real meaning behind everything they were saying (you know, just being a typical female). I look nice? That must mean I look even uglier than usual. I’m funny? What girl are you trying to impress by having her think we have a good relationship? Movie? You just want to drive and leave me there, don’t you??

Compliments

There was something wrong with me–I was like that rescue dog with history of being abused. The scrawny kind with raggedy fur and its tail between its legs, who whimpers and cowers from any hand reaching out to pet it. That’s me.

But I guess they went through puberty too, which means they were growing up. Funny thing about growing up, you mature.

Where I once had demon-children for siblings, I know had decent human beings. It was kind of cool.

The best thing about having brothers is that I know someone’s looking out for me–even if they don’t say it outright. I know they’re doing their best to make sure I don’t get run over by a bus, get physically hooked to an IV because of drugs or alcohol, or spend time with the wrong kind of guy who’ll smash my heart with a meat tenderizer.

They’re kind of great.

It also helps that they feed me. Who needs a boyfriend when you have an older brother who’ll pay for your meals, am I right? (Jk, Marlin). I’ll take it! That’s love.

I’m pretty sure.

Cheers!

L

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6 thoughts on “The Perks of Older Brothers

    • This was a beautiful post Lis(a). You are such a blessing to all and I am very proud of you and the woman you are and are becoming. Nice Forrest Gump reference as well.

      Side note: I don’t remember bullying you … maybe it’s the age thing. Senility happens too I suppose … :).

      • What does that mean?? You’re “proud” of me–was I too embarrassing before?! You mean I’m not a woman already?! I’m just kidding 🙂

        Ugh–you don’t remember?? It’s because you’re too old now.

  1. Im glad you did not get bullied at school. Thats also good for the potential schoolyard bully bc whoever would have been foolish enough to mess with you would have gotten the smack down by your bros. I pity the (would-be) fool.

    • Thanks–I’m glad! Are you an older brother too? It’s OK if you were mean to your little sister. No judgment here 😛

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