Happy post-Valentine’s Day!
Hallmark, come and get me–I’m open for bizz (which is what I think the cool people call ‘business’. But when I say, “I’m open for business,” I don’t mean I’m a hooker or anything. I just mean that I’m available for employment–I can provide a service to their company, and they can pay me in return for my services . . . this is not . . . for some reason that still doesn’t sound right. I’m not a hooker, guys). But, anywho, holler at me, Hallmark!
Brace yourselves for a bag o’ laughs. (Get it, I drew on the front and back of a bag . . .)
(Get it?? It’s an almond! An almond is a type of nut! And it’s saying, “I’m NUTS about you.” And the heart! OMG–it’s ‘heart’ of hearing. Hahahahahaha (manic laughter). Get it?? Like hard of hearing, but heart . . . because it’s a heart!)
(This one speaks for itself. Bible humor, am I right?? Christians! Hyuk . . . hyuk . . . aren’t we just so funny . . .)
Thanks, guys. I’m here all week, though I have been sick all week . . .
P.S. I’m not really full of myself–I hope you don’t think I’m an egotistical witch.
P.P.S. I actually think I’m really lame. I think you probably think this too . . . dangit.
P.P.P.S. My valentine liked it . . . or I made sure he acknowledged how clever and funny I am. But I think he really did like it.
P.P.P.P.S. Seriously, I’m really not an uppity, full-of-myself, witch.