The “Clingon”

Grammar. The final frontier. What no man has fully grasped, what no man will ever master.

Just kidding.

So, this really has nothing to do with anything except that when people talk they sometimes use words, which become sentences. I guess that’s the nature of speaking.

Before I go any further, let me preface with, I was raised by a Trekkie (I am not one, just . . . a product of one). I can’t help that Patrick Stewart will forever be known to me as Captain Jean-Luc Picard, or that Data is not just numbers and statistics . . . HE is an android. (The first android before these things became phones). It’s not my fault that I know the Vulcan greeting.

It’s also best if you don’t read too much into the fact that the front of our Christmas tree has an entire section dedicated to Star Trek ornaments.

Alright, enough prefacing.

People say things sometimes like, “We should grab a bite to eat.” Or, “How about the weather?” Or maybe something like, “We need to take charge of our future and start planning for the zombie attacks!” You know, simple things like that.

There’s one thing, however, that makes me laugh in my head every single time. This may just be in the church setting, or maybe if someone is making a political speech–I don’t know. But whenever I hear, “We have to cling onto . . .” all I really hear is “Klingon.”

I picture a Klingon writing letters.

“You have to cling onto the truth of salvation.”

Klingon
To: The Truth of Salvation

Dear The Truth of Salvation,
Thank you.

Kindest regards,
Klingon

“You should cling onto your hopes and dreams.”

Klingon
To: Your Hopes and Dreams

Dear Your Hopes and Dreams,
Are you in space? Can you help me find My Hopes and Dreams?

Sincerely,
Klingon

It’s stupid. I know. But I can’t help myself.

Cheers!

–L.

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6 thoughts on “The “Clingon”

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHA love this post! Startrek.com used to have a comic strip, but it got canned when the recession hit. I can only hope that one day you make Star Trek comics all day. That would be awesome! Qa’Plaa! (which as you know, in Klingonese means “to victory!”)

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