Have You Had Enerf Yet?

As a child, I was so sweet. So shy. So good.

I was never any trouble, never got into any trouble–I was pretty easy to handle.

I’m the youngest of three (the only girl). My brothers were kind of rambunctious as kids–alwaysย roughhousing and “playing” wrestling, like WWF, with each other.

I played make believe in my room.

I read a lot of books and watched a lot of kid shows too, though. I never really got in anybody’s way, but somehow I always seemed to get on my brothers’ bad side. Or maybe that’s just how they loved me . . . yea, let’s say that.

I would be the unfortunate victim of farts in the face, getting sat on, or sometimes both at the same time.

It was not a good time to be a little girl.

One day, after school (for them, not me. I wasn’t even in kindergarten yet) one of my brothers came home with his friend. I was watching the classic tv sitcom, Barney and Friends (just kidding–it’s not a sitcom).

Well, my brother and his friend dropped off their backpacks and began to play with the nerf guns. They were shooting at each other. Shooting at targets. Shooting windows.

But I guess that got boring fast.

I’m not sure what happened, but it was all such a flurry. The next thing I knew, I was getting bombarded by orange and yellow nerf pellets!

Being a girl, I did the only thing I knew how: I ran.

But I was, like, four years old at the time–I was not that bright. I ran downstairs into our den. I should have ran to my mother.

I was trapped. There was no way out.

Eventually, I climbed on top of the couch and was pinned against the wall–nerf pellets bouncing off my legs, my face. These boys were relentless. In my mind they each had a nerf gun in both hands and were firing at me with their machine guns, like they were some type of mafioso in a black and white film.

In reality, they were two little boys pumping their nerf guns at a defenseless little girl.

I’m not entirely certain of how it ended. But it did. Probably because they ran out of nerf ammo.

We still have that couch in our den, 20 years later. Luckily for me, I survived the ambush to tell this tale. What’s the moral of the story? I’m not sure there is one.

Nerf guns–make sure you have an extra supply of nerf bullets.

Cheers!

–L.

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14 thoughts on “Have You Had Enerf Yet?

  1. It’s a good thing your older brothers are married … or your lovely blogs would certainly see to it that we would never be suitable husband material!

    Strange … how I do not recall some of these events, hopefully that means that this is applies more to brudder #2 than brudder #1.

    *PS* The motion that your stick brudders would be doing in image 1 is a leg drop not a ddt.

    *PSS* Love your Blogs =].

    • Haha! You would be correct . . . that Brother #2 (Brother Poopoo . . haha, get it? #2). I guess I should make an Author’s Edit–I should have researched more on my wrestling moves. What a rookie mistake.

  2. I heart this entry! As soon as I saw the two boys in the background, I was trying to figure out who was red and who was blue, but it was definitely clear with image #2. I definitely picked a winner :/
    Btw, your assailant remembers the last attack vividly and with pleasure.

  3. I can’t get over your pictures! Seriously, I’m coming back and lingering on each one of them after reading your entire post. They’re hilarious! I especially like “the smell of dominance” one ๐Ÿ™‚

    • I’m really glad you like this! Is it bad form if that drawing makes me laugh sometimes too? Older brothers, let me tell you . . . ๐Ÿ˜›

      • Haha not bad form at all! Some days I really wish I had a brother (I’m an only child) but then some other days (especially after reading this), I don’t. Haha!

  4. Haha, I got hooked from your freshly pressed article, then kept reading a few more. They make for good chuckle material – very much enjoyable! (Also, the pictures are a great addition) Look forward to reading more! ๐Ÿ™‚

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